An expert explains how in this go-to guide to squirting.
Learning how to squirt can be incredibly pleasurable, especially if you do it with someone you care about. But most women struggle when learning the ancient art of female ejaculation and never quite figure out how to do it properly. This guide will show you what you need to do to learn how to squirt.
Unlike learning a new sexual position where you simply need to imitate a picture or diagram you found online or in a book, learning how to squirt takes more work than this. It is a half-mental, half-physical phenomenon.
You won’t magically be able to do it by only focusing on the technique I’m about to show you. You also need to learn how to properly relax and let go to make squirting happen for you.
1. First, understand what squirting is.
Many women believe that when they ejaculate, that they are actually releasing urine. This is possible, but it’s rare. Instead, you will be ejaculating fluid from the Skene’s gland. The Skene’s gland is located above the G-spot and is really close to the bladder.
As the Skene’s gland is stimulated, it fills and then expels fluid. This fluid is released through the urethra. The urethra is the same tube that urine passes through. As a result, many women report that they feel like they are going to pee as they ejaculate. It’s a totally normal feeling. But importantly, it’s not pee, even if it feels like you are peeing. So the first thing to learn is that having that “I need to pee” feeling as you are about to ejaculate is totally normal.
What is important is mentally releasing and relaxing so that it happens more easily. The reason that this is the most important thing about training yourself to ejaculate is because most women who claim that they can’t do so because they are simply holding themselves back, instead of just releasing and going with the flow.
2. Prepare yourself for a flood.
Now that I have covered the one big, massive block people encounter when learning how to squirt, it’s time to get yourself ready. A few hours before you actually start using the techniques, make sure to have a few glasses of water so you are properly hydrated. No need for gallons of water, but half a liter to a full liter of water is perfect. Then right before you lie down or jump in the shower to start trying to make yourself squirt, make sure to empty your bladder.
Next, it’s time to get comfortable. If you are in bed, make sure you aren’t going to be disturbed and that you are able to get in the mood. You might want to try reading some erotica or just fantasizing about your favorite hot and sexy scenario.
You are now going to very slowly get yourself aroused. This is a vital part that many women ignore. In order to squirt, you need to slowly build up your arousal for 15 to 30 minutes first. Don’t try to reach orgasm just yet, but make sure to get yourself close. Try to spend the majority of your time focusing on your clitoris and don’t worry too much about penetrating yourself just yet.
3. Bring the focus to yourself.
Once you are incredibly aroused, it’s time to focus on actually making yourself squirt. To start off, you need to find your G-spot. You’ll know when you’ve found it because it feels very similar to a wet raspberry — soft, wet and slightly dimpled. Start to slowly apply pressure. Pay attention to how it feels. Experiment with applying less pressure. Then more pressure. The purpose of this experimentation is to figure out for yourself exactly what feels best and is most pleasurable.
Most women find that using quite a lot of pressure feels best. So don’t be afraid to use a lot. If you find that you can’t apply enough pressure, then just use a sex toy instead of your hands. This is also a good idea if you find that your wrist is starting to get sore.
As you apply more and more pressure, you will be indirectly stimulating your Skene’s gland more and more. As you do, you will bring yourself closer and closer to ejaculating. This moment when you feel like you are about to ejaculate is crucial. If you are afraid and believe that you are going to pee, then you will inevitably clam up and not be able to do it. But if you instead embrace the feeling and just let go, you will experience that wonderful feeling of gushing.
One important thing to note is that while most women climax and gush at the same time, some women can do it without actually having an orgasm. So don’t worry too much if you have trouble reaching climax when trying these techniques, they don’t always happen together.
4. Overcome the stumbling blocks.
Sometimes ejaculation doesn’t happen as easily as you’d like. What then?
- It’s just not happening. If you are learning how to squirt for the first time and struggle to make it happen, don’t worry! Instead try to focus on what’s enjoyable and pleasurable. It can take many attempts before you finally discover the specific nuances and technique that make it happen for you.
- It’s a trickle, not a stream. Different women ejaculate in different ways. While some women may shoot a stream that travels 5 feet, other women simply gush or gently release fluid that trickles out without much force at all. Both are completely normal, so don’t worry if you only experience one and not the other.
- You can’t do it with him. Often women report that they can easily do it while on their own, but have a lot of difficulty performing in the presence of their man. Again, this is totally normal and nothing to worry about. Just give yourself time and experience and it will eventually happen.